Support cannot depend on disclosure
Updated: Oct 12
Only 31% of young people who had experienced bullying said school staff were aware of it. That figure should make us think about how easy support is to reach long before a child has to make a formal disclosure. |
A child starts arriving late to lessons, stops spending time with their usual friends and regularly asks to stay inside at lunchtime. There could be several explanations for those changes, but they give us reasons to be curious. If that child is experiencing bullying, how much might we notice before they find the words to tell us?
In Growing Up in the 2020s, just 31% of young people who had experienced bullying reported that school staff were aware of it. The survey also found higher rates of bullying among children receiving SEN provision and those from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds.
We need to interpret that 31% carefully. Some young people were unsure whether staff knew, and the survey cannot tell us what adults had already noticed or acted upon. There is, however, something concerning about so many children experiencing bullying without feeling confident that the adults around them know.
It also raises a question about what we expect children to do when they need support.
Disclosure can require an enormous amount of developmental and emotional effort. A child needs to recognise that something is wrong, understand that they can ask for help, find the language to explain it and identify an adult they trust. They may also be weighing up the consequences of speaking out.
What if the bullying gets worse? What if their friends find out? What if the adult doesn't believe them, or responds in a way that makes everything more difficult?
For children who have experienced rejection, trauma, shame or inconsistent adult relationships, those concerns may be particularly significant. Some learners will also find it difficult to recognise, organise or communicate what has happened. We need to think carefully about how accessible we've made the process of getting help.
Broadening the circle
At Navigate, Broadening the Circle is about increasing the number of adults who can recognise need, establish safe relationships and create opportunities for children to access support.
We often ask children whether they know who they can talk to if something is wrong. It's worth considering how frequently those adults create opportunities for conversation themselves.
A greeting at the door, remembering something a child mentioned yesterday, noticing a change in friendship groups or following up a difficult lunchtime can all help build familiarity and trust. These interactions also give adults opportunities to recognise when something might be changing.
A child may find it much easier to respond to 'I've noticed you've been spending quite a bit of time on your own recently. How are things going?' than to approach an adult and announce that they're being bullied.
The quality of the conversation matters too. Children need adults who can listen without interrogating, tolerate uncertainty and respond without making them feel exposed. We can be curious about what we've noticed while allowing the learner some control over how much they share.
Safe Relationships and Safe Conversations help us think about the conditions that make those interactions possible. Predictability, emotional safety, privacy and the way adults respond to vulnerability all influence whether children feel able to approach us again.
But we also need reliable systems behind those relationships.
When adults notice something concerning, they need to know how to record it, share information appropriately and follow safeguarding procedures. Children should understand what will happen with information they share and what support they can expect. They should never be promised confidentiality that an adult cannot maintain.
We also need to consider what the wider picture is telling us. Are particular children repeatedly isolated at breaktimes? Are there patterns in attendance, friendship difficulties or incidents in less supervised areas? Do children report feeling safe while avoiding particular people or places?
Bringing together observations, pupil voice and existing school information can help us identify concerns that individual adults might otherwise overlook.
And where a child has sought help, we need to follow through. An adult may feel that a concern has been addressed while the young person remains uncertain about what has happened or whether things will improve. Checking back with them is part of understanding whether our response has actually helped.
Making support part of everyday school life
There is an important responsibility here for leaders. If we want adults to notice concerns earlier, we need to make that expectation accessible through training, clear processes, time for relationships and opportunities to share information appropriately.
We should also be interested in whether children who are less likely to seek help independently are receiving the attention and support they need.
During learning walks and safeguarding reviews, look at how adults engage with children who are quiet, withdrawn or increasingly disconnected. Consider who notices changes, what happens next and how confidently staff can respond.
We may initially see an increase in recorded concerns as adults become more attentive and children develop greater confidence in seeking help. That information needs careful interpretation too. More reporting may reflect improved access to support, and we should be looking at what happens after concerns are identified.
The 31% finding gives us good reason to examine the gap between what children are experiencing and what they believe adults understand about their lives. Every child deserves access to adults who notice, listen and respond. For some of our most vulnerable learners, we may need to make the first move.
Support cannot depend on a child finding the words to tell us something is wrong. We have a responsibility to notice, create opportunities for connection and make sure that asking for help leads somewhere safe.
Pass it on: Explore our free Broadening the Circle, Safe Relationships and Safe Conversations resources on We Navigate Together to help staff recognise when children may need support, build safe relationships and make everyday opportunities for connection more accessible.
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